REVIEW : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * uck (Part 3)

Assalamualaikum wr.wb so welcome back to my blog guys! just like what i said in the precious article that there is continuation for chapter 5 and chapter 6. enjoy!💗


Chapter 5 : You are Always Choosing

In chapter 5, Mark tells the story of William James who has physical limitations and his life is always arranged by his father. Up to one point where he rebelled and chose to live his life regardless of what his father wanted. He decided to responsible for his life. Whatever he chooses for his life he will do and bear all the risks.

We, Individually, are responsible for everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances.

Everyone is responsible for his life, no matter what happens around us. This principle is done by William James. Whether for mistakes or not, he will be responsible for the life he chooses. He does not choose to be born imperfect, but he must continue to live his life like everyone else. He also chose to drop out of medical school at Harvard and go on an adventure to the Amazon jungle, still he chose it and responsible of his choices. He knew his father would be angry and choose not to go home, then he chose it. He faced every risk he received for the choices he made.

Even so with us. We are born to always choose to live our lives. We are always faced with choices every day. And this is part of life. We cannot avoid choice. They always wait for us, the endless queue of choices. Unless you’re dead.

We also have to be accountable to ourselves for things we don't want. Because we are given a choice of how we see things, how we respond to what happened, and how we interpret what has happened.

When we are overwritten by a problem, we will unconsciously find out what caused it. Who is wrong so we get this problem and who should be responsible for our bad luck. And it is not uncommon for us to blame other people or circumstances out there that have made us suffer. We feel that we are the ones who suffer the most and others who are wrong. We continue to blame other people and others who are on our side pay more attention to us, and we enjoy it very much. We post it on Instagram and people pay attention to your feed without seeing clearly what happened actually. We called it victim victim hood.

Being responsible for yourself is far more important than blaming other people / circumstances, because that's where we learn to face difficulties in life and grow to be more mature. That's where the real-life improvement comes from. Because blaming other people is tantamount to hurting yourself.

Chapter 6 : We’re Wrong about Everything

Maybe you still remember the debate that the earth is round. Or the theory that explains that the earth is the center of the solar system and the sun moves around the earth. Science develops at any time and can change at any time. What we believe now can be wrong in the future. In the past, everyone believed that women's duty was only to take care of the kitchen and raising children. Women must not work and must stay at home. Civilization is progressing and the values ​​in society are shifting. Women have equal rights with men, not only taking care of the kitchen and raising children, but also have the right to work and develop their potential.

Likewise, the values ​​that we believe in today may be wrong in the future. Nothing is certain unless that has happened. So, we have to test our value. In the past, we would assume the tattooed person was a thug and a bad person. Today, tattoos are art. Anyone can have a tattoo, and tattooed people aren't necessarily bad people. Another example is the value that I believe is silent, is a way of responding to annoying people. When someone makes fun of me, lowers me or blames me, the way I respond to them is to be quiet. But, when it turns out to turn out it makes the annoying person more happy with his actions, it turns out that silence is not the right answer. I have to speak out to defend myself when they do hurt my self-respect, morals, values ​​, and self-worth. Silence is not the right response in this case. So, I was wrong. It's the same thing when we face our fears. "I can't ride a flying fox because I'm afraid of heights and I'll faint when I ride a flying fox" or "I can't talk in front of many people for fear of being the center of attention. I must be embarrassing if I stay the center of attention ". We don't know because we never tried. We know the exact answer when we have done it.

Since childhood, we are taught to always be confident in ourselves so we can be confident. However, Mark Manson had other thoughts. Instead, we must question that belief in ourselves. What do I believe is correct? What if what I believe is wrong? if I am wrong, what is the worst thing that will happen to me? What can I learn if I am wrong? After I knew I was wrong, would I be better than me who didn't make a mistake? And I think, with this it seems like you want to know whether we are wrong or right, avoid us from feeling the right because we believe that what we believe may be wrong.

so i think its enough for today, we continue the review next week, ok?! don't forget to visit my blog again for next week for the new chaper reviewing this book. thankyou!♥️

REVIEW : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * uck (Part 2)

hallo guys welcome back to my blog!☺️ now i would like to continues my previous blog that reviewing the book : the subtle art of not giving a fuck. now we are already to chapter 3 & 4. here we go!

Chapter 3 : You are not Special

Starting with the story of Jimmy who was too confident and too positive about him. Or in this book, it is called "Entitlement" or "Privileges". Feel that he is great so he must get special treatment. That the world will always work for itself without doing anything.

According to Manson, there are two categories of entitlement:

1. I am great and the others are not, so I get special treatment.

2. Other people are great and I am not, so I get special treatment.

Although it looks different, essentially the same wants special treatment. Jimmy is an example of the first category. Mark Manson shows himself for the second category. He had trauma in the past related to drugs, families who experience bankruptcy, divorce from parents, so he feels he needs special treatment. But in the end, he realized that entitlement was a problem and not good for him.

In my opinion, Mark tries to explain that life treats us equally no matter who we are. When we have a problem, it is very likely that everyone has experienced it in the past, or is experiencing the same problem at this time, and may also experience it in the future. Of course in a different form but the same core. This is the highlight of this chapter.

Then, if it's not to be someone special, what's the point?

Our cultural standard of success is "be extraordinary", being someone who is extraordinarily great or special. Many people are afraid to become ordinary people because they believe that ordinary people never do anything, never get better, and their lives are meaningless. A person who is truly special in a matter does not feel special. On the contrary, they feel mediocre so that they continually make improvements so that they are unknowingly special.

Chapter 4 : The Value of Suffering

To explain the essence of the difficulty, Mark told of Lieutenant Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese soldier, who chose to be in the interior of the Philippines to show his loyalty to the country even though the war was over. He also told about Suzuki, an adventurer who managed to find Hiroo Onoda in the interior of the Philippines.

In real life, we ​​might have met people who chose to be in trouble, like Onoda and Suzuki. For example, in a small matter, why would someone prefer to travel by public transportation even though he has a private vehicle? Or why would anyone choose to eat spicy food when it tortures him? Why do people challenge death to get a satisfaction? To be able to answer these questions we must understand the values, values ​​that we hold in everyday life.

The highlight of this chapter is understanding the values ​​we hold. If we want to change how we see a problem, we must change the value we hold and the size of the value itself. And we are also invited to understand which values ​​are good and which values ​​are bad.

In this fourth chapter, Mark tells a guitarist named Dave Mustaine. He was expelled from his first band for a reason he did not understand. He asks why this happened to him. Until one day he promised to make a new band and his new band would be more successful than the band that issued it. His new band group named Megadeth and managed to sell more than 25 million albums. He became one of the most talented musicians and had a great influence on the world of metal music. But he still felt that he was a failure because he did not succeed in becoming more successful than the band that released him, Metallica, which managed to sell more than 180 million albums worldwide. Dave felt his success was a failure because the size of Dave's success was more popular than the previous band, Metallica. And this can happen in our lives when the value we hold is good but the size of this value is not right. The size of success for everyone is not the same even though the value we hold is the same.

Self-awareness Onion

Stage 1: Understand simply the emotions we are feeling. At least we know if we are angry, happy, disappointed, sad, and so on.

Stage 2: The ability to ask why we feel these emotions. Ask yourself why we feel happy, what is the reason we feel happy now.

Stage: Personal value. Value is the values ​​that we hold and underlie what we will do.

When we face difficulties, we can apply the Self-awareness onion method to ourselves. Try to peel each layer of what actually happened. If the values ​​that we believe are good values, then we will see that the difficulties we face today are something that is good for us and will have a positive impact on us. Because self-improvement itself is prioritizing better values, and choosing which things we should make our attention. Because when you give a better fuck, you get better problems. And when you get better problems, you get a better life.

so thats the review for chapter 3 and 4, so much lesson that we can get after reading this book, thankyou for reading my blog, next chapter will be uploaded as fast as possible. enjoy!♥️♥️

REVIEW : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * uck (Part 1)

Hi guys! Welcome back to my blog. don't be bored visiting my blog! Now I will discuss the contents of the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * uck.

Chapter 1 : Dont Try

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In this chapter beginning with Bukowski's story, is a novelist who began his career in his 50s. He managed to publish 6 novels, hundreds of poems, and sell more than two million copies. But the story of his life is not far from alcohol, drugs, gambling, and women. Even though he is a successful writer, He is actually a loser. The success he achieved was not able to transform himself into a better person.

In my opinion, Manson tries to distinguish between success and self-improvement. As he wrote in his book

“Self-Improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they are the same thing.”

Success does not guarantee someone to be better. An example is Bukowski. The community paradigm of success is always associated with material. Success is getting a high-paying job, or becoming popular, having a luxury car, a nice house, a beautiful / handsome wife / girlfriend. And a better life means more money, more ownership, more wealth. So, in the end we have the ambition to have high-paying jobs, become popular. Focus to be more. Actually there is nothing wrong with having more material or physical, but the problem is too focused to be more. Too much care about what is the standard of success is not good for us. Because we will dedicate our lives to pursue "success" and satisfaction that does not necessarily guarantee happiness and make us a better person.

The highlight of this chapter is when he explains that wanting a good experience is a bad experience. And the bad experience itself is a good experience. Well, he wrote it like this (maybe our interpretation is different)

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience itself a positive experience” (pages 9)

If we want to be rich. The more we want to be rich, the more we feel poor, the more we feel the lack of how much money we make. Or the more we want to be beautiful, the more we feel ugly, even though maybe we already look beautiful or we are not bad. That is, we do not feel grateful for what we have. When we accept what we have now or when we can still accept a failure, isn't that better than being obsessed with being someone more?

In this chapter, Mark explains why we must be smart in choosing which ones we deserve to be concerned about and which ones we should ignore. Because not all things deserve our attention, especially when we experience a problem or difficulty (negative experiences).

Chapter 2 : Happiness is a problem

In this second chapter Mark Manson argues that life is a form of misery and happiness that results from solving the problem / misery itself. The rich are miserable with their wealth and the poor are miserable with their poverty. But that doesn't mean the misery that everyone feels is the same, some misery is certainly more painful than others. But he tried to explain that life cannot be avoided from difficulties, distress or pain. Because the pain of an experience teaches us to give attention to our former self and the carelessness that we do. Having trouble is not the wrong thing. Having trouble and pain benefits us to understand the reality that is around us.

“Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one”

So, as long as we live, we will continue to face problems and difficulties. And never expect to live without problems, except hoping for life filled with problems that can make us better. Instead we have to ask ourselves when we feel we have never experienced difficulties. And happiness will come when we can solve problems. happiness is a form of action, activity, not something that suddenly comes to us without cause. Happiness is a response to what we do. And happiness requires struggle. 

So, thats review from me. Be grateful for what you have, fight for what can make you happy. thank you for visiting my blog, don't forget to leave a nice comment! see you on next chapter! love u!❤️

REVIEW : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * uck

Title: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * uck

Author: Mark Manson

Publisher: Harper One

Language : English & Bahasa

Genre: self improvement

Published: 2016

Page Pages: 240 pages

Let me tell you a short story, what makes me interested in reading and reviewing this book is i'm a very caring person even to the smallest thing, many people say that "care too much makes you hurt so much" and thats right, the more I care, the more i get hurt. I told all my anxiety to someone, and he advised me to read this book. After I read this book, i thought this book is very extraordinary book, this book is beyond my expectations.

This book is titled "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F * ck" (published 2016). This book is the first book from New York blogger writer, Mark Manson. Well the title sounds so rude, but the contents can give us a lot of insight. This book is a genre of self-improvement book and is the best-selling version of the New York Times and Globe and Mail. the cover of this book is dominated by orange with black title. Obviously the use of eccentric or frontal words in this book is not recommended for people under 17 years of age. I sometimes have to repeat reading a number of sentences to understand the message that being delivered, but fortunately, Mark pretty much gives examples of cases in each important discussion, making it easier for readers to understand.

Talking about 'Not giving a f * ck' does not mean 'don't care' about everything. We live in this world must be "necessary" to care about something. And what we can train is how we choose which one we care about something or someone we care about, also getting used to living with each other's problems, and enjoying the completion process.

This book is an anti-stream book. While self improvment book usually contains motivations such as "You Can!", "Success is easy", and all forms of support that invites us to think positive or see the world with a positive glasses. But not with this book, this book teaches us that life is full of problems, difficult, suffering and many negative things in it but teaches us to accept and live through all these problems. Overall, this book tries to comfort us from failure and even though we fall we'll still be okay. So for those of you who may be experiencing failure or desperate, reading and understanding this book is very helpful to see a problem from a different perspective. So, don't be surprised if a lot of the impolite impressions that Mark uses in explaining something because it is a characteristic of Mark Manson's writing.

I recommend this book is suitable for happiness seekers, or those who have just experienced failure and adversity, who feel not special and think that they are 'trash', don't have self-confidence, and various forms of life anxiety in other worlds, Even so Even though we have a stable life, it's good to listen to this book. This book can help us to be wiser, and be better at managing emotions. Happy reading guys!♡♥️

thankyou for visiting my blog, don't forget to leave a nice comment!❤️